about us 04

after my divorce in 1997
the girls and I were a single parent family

I looked after Becki (9) and Naomi (6)
on my own for 10 years

my daughters had a very good upbringing and they admitted this

the three of us had a lot of fun
and very many happy times together

Becki and Naomi had contact with 100’s of different people – everyone was supportive
and very complimentary about them –
no-one ever expressed any concerns

but now the girls have grown up
and they are claiming that they had
an unhappy childhood and teenage years
and that they were mistreated

we don’t know why
and it is absolutely heartbreaking!!

written at a time when Becki was struggling and we were encouraging her

written while Naomi was Brighton studying for her MSc qualification

During the 10 years that we were a single parent family we did lots at home and had friends over every week.
We stayed over with friends and family, we camped, stayed in youth hostels and B&Bs, we travelled abroad and had a lot of good times – Becki and Naomi had
a good time and they were treated very well.

I wanted the girls to be in contact with as many different people as possible. I felt this was a great way to grow up and we had school friends and family over regularly. They both had a wide variety of friends including some from other single parent families.

Becki & Naomi were encouraged to have friends to stay at our house and they frequently stayed over
at their friends’ houses.

The girls had frequent contact with their mother
and saw their grandparents every week.
We also stayed in close contact with their mother’s family and got on very well with them.

I took the girls to Brownies and Guides, horse riding, music lessons, dance classes, sports, summer clubs and many other activities.

We travelled in the UK and abroad and stayed
in B&Bs, hotels and youth hostels. We had holidays
in caravans and we camped.

Becki, Naomi and I went to all the school parents’ evenings at both primary and secondary school – the teachers were always very positive about their ability, and very complimentary about their attitude and behaviour.

We attended village and school activities, we took part and also helped to organise many of them.
We were active members of Gingerbread (for single parent families) – attending events and going on trips.
The girls went on all school trips and stayed away from home with friends, teachers and youth leaders.

Becki and Naomi had frequent and regular contact with my family, their mother’s family, other parents, school friends, adult friends, health professionals, youth workers and teachers. Both girls also had a wide variety of Saturday jobs and we attended our local church.

at no time did any of these people have
any concerns about Becki or Naomi

Unfortunately their mother was never able to move on with her life and she is still angry. She has a negative attitude about life and this has got worse over the years.
I have often asked her to discuss Becki and Naomi but she has always refused. However she never said that
I was an unsuitable parent and she never asked
Becki and Naomi to live with her.

After Tracey and I married in 2006, Becki and Naomi continued to live at home for over 10 years until they were in their mid-twenties.

They were happy and settled and got on very well with Tracey, Ben and Chloe. We extended the house so that all
four children had their own rooms and plenty of space.
We all went on many trips and holidays together.

It was only when they left home that Becki and Naomi
started to claim that they had an unhappy childhood.

We did not realise until later was just how much their mother had been pushing her anger and
her negative attitudes on to them.

And Becki and Naomi have been having counselling.

And counselling can have very serious consequences.